Capoeira

Last Wednesday night was my third class of Capoeira. We (the fiance and I) are doing it once a week, for a 10-week beginner series. It is an intense workout and very addicting. After the first class, we could barely walk for 2 days after, now I am feeling a little better as my body gets used to the movements.

Capoeira involves martial arts, dance and music. Our class is designed like a really fun boot camp set to great music. We run, do cartwheels, side shuffles, push-ups, sit-ups and lots and lots of kicks! Some things are coming very easily to me (thankfully I can still do a great cartwheel!) and some things aren't. With yoga, especially the yoga I am currently doing, all the moves are very studied and carefully executed. So swinging my leg around to kick (and kick as fast as possible and ultimately kicking high, too) is not happening with my hip joints quite yet. I knew going in that I was a beginner and I liked that part of it. I've been doing yoga so long I forgot what it feels like to be new to different movements. At the same time, though, I feel like I am in pretty decent shape and that I should be up for the workout. I was wrong! I realized my body is in shape for yoga, not in Capoeira shape yet!

Because there were some people brand new to Capoeira, at the end of class they said "Be patient with what you are and are not good at." Which struck me as very profound. It reminded me of the Yoga Sutras, specifically I.4 "Otherwise [without yoga] we conform to the identities of the mind." I take that to also mean not conforming to all the labels by which we define ourselves. ie. "I like yoga," I am a good cook," "I don't study well," "I'm not good at this pose," etc... By labeling myself like that, I am limited by the categorizations of my strengths, weaknesses, likes and dislikes. My teacher called this a "Starbucks mentality." We can make all these choices - I'll have a double-tall, soy, split-shot, sugar-free vanilla latte. But these choices are packing who we are into smaller and smaller boxes and we're left with very little room.

So when she said "be patient with what you are and are not good at." I take that to mean the next time I go into class (Capoeira, yoga or anything) I want to leave the "I do great cartwheels and crappy kicks" at the door and just do the class to the best of my ability, wherever I am (body and mind) at the present moment.

Check this Capoeira video out, it shows a good range of the training and the "fighting."

Neglectful blogging

I have neglected you, my little blog, but I am back and with a desire to devote more energy to this project of mine.

Recently I went to San Diego to visit my family, and didn't take a yoga class for about a week and half - which feels like an eternity when you practice consistently. I took walks, did some home practice and even used my mom as a guinea pig for some practice sessions in teaching, learning that I have a long way to go in developing the teaching skills.

I went down there with the hopes of studying the sutras, practicing pranayama and finishing my anatomy homework to get a solid jump on it all before class this coming weekend. I was a little over zealous, I guess, as I didn't get any of that done. I felt guilty about neglecting my practice (which includes this blog) and my homework - until today. I finally buckled down and dedicated the time to something I love dearly. I didn't even need to carve out many hours, just some moments when I wasn't trying to do anything else. Therein lies my dilemma - Why is it hard to find time to do what I love? How can it be so easy to make excuses for something that makes me feel so good - physically and mentally?

Putting the guilt and excuses aside, I've decided to do something radical - forgive myself. Along with forgiving myself, I am not going to create unreasonable goals in order to "make-up" for what I feel I've missed. I am allowing my past to be part of the path I am on, instead of resisting and trying to overcorrect for it. The fact that I slacked off does not mean I am a slacker. I am still just me, working on accepting the ever-changing present.