"The central question in a warrior's training is not how we avoid uncertainty and fear, but how we relate to discomfort. How do we practice with difficulty, with our emotions, with the unpredictable encounters of an ordinary day?"
-Pema Chödrön
In a little over 3 weeks I will start a yoga teacher training program. This is something that I have dreamed about doing since I took my first class 10 years ago. At the time I fantasized that it would be a fun thing to do with my life, a better option than "working," I thought. Of course I still think it will be fun, or I wouldn't be doing it, but recently I have realized that yoga is work. The practice of yoga requires discipline and focus, but even more it requires patience and kindness. I am not only referring to the pretzel-like shapes into which we try to contort ourselves, or holding chair pose until our legs burn like fire. I speak of the mental and emotional trials we experience as we journey with yoga in our lives. When discomfort arises during practice (and life) in whatever form it may take, we must meet that sensation with kindness and patience, extending that compassion to ourselves and others.
Lately I have been experiencing some forms of discomfort in my practice. In these months, now weeks, leading up to when I begin the course and path to becoming a teacher (or I guess I've always been on it, in a sense?) I find I am anxious, excited and nervous. Anxious and excited to start something I have desired deeply for so long, but nervous because I don't know if I am ready. Do I have what it takes to be a teacher? Not just a teacher, but a good one? I have no idea what it is like to teach yoga, but I do know that all teachers are students first, and as a student I will continue trying to meet my fears and doubts with compassion.
No comments:
Post a Comment